Pausing the anxiety cycle
Many of us recognise the feeling of being “back on the anxiety treadmill”. One week things feel manageable, even good. The next, something knocks us off-balance, and we’re exhausted, foggy, tense, or overwhelmed. It might be physical symptoms, emotional overload, or a sense that you’ve “gone backwards” again.
- What went wrong?
- Why am I feeling like this again?
- When will I get on top of this properly?
- What did I do wrong?
These thoughts can start to circle, faster and faster, until they become the problem themselves. The trap of trying to “solve” anxiety.
Trying to “solve” anxiety doesn’t work
If there ever was a time to be kind to yourself, this is it. When we feel unwell or emotionally unsettled, it’s natural to look for a cause. We scan recent events, conversations, habits, or decisions, trying to pinpoint the moment we “messed up”.
Occasionally, this search is helpful. A clear trigger might emerge — lack of sleep, stress, overstimulation, missed meals, too much pressure without enough rest. Noticing patterns can support self-care and future planning. But often, the answer isn’t clear.
Life is busy and complex. We don’t always get neat explanations for how we feel. When the cause stays hidden, the search itself can become obsessive. The need to find the reason grows stronger, feeding more anxiety, guilt, and frustration — which only deepens the cycle.
Self-compassion as a practical skill (not a fluffy idea)
This is where kindness to yourself matters most. We are usually far more understanding towards other people than we are towards ourselves. If a friend felt overwhelmed or anxious, we wouldn’t accuse them of failure or tell them they’ll “always be like this”. Yet, many of us use exactly that language internally.
It might be helpful to ask yourself: “What would I say to a friend who was in this situation?”
That question alone can interrupt the harsh inner commentary and soften the emotional intensity for a moment. Creating space, a small relief instead of fighting.
For many people, learning to notice and name what’s happening creates a small but meaningful shift. This idea sits at the heart of many mindfulness-based approaches. One widely used framework is the RAIN technique, which offers a structured way to pause without trying to “fix” everything at once.
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The RAIN technique
R – Recognise: Notice what is happening right now. Name the experience as it is: anxiety, frustration, sadness, fear, exhaustion.
A – Allow: Let the feeling be there without judging it or pushing it away. Emotions are part of being human; having them doesn’t mean you’re failing.
I – Investigate: Gently explore what might be contributing. Be curious, what sensations are you noticing in your body? What thoughts are present?
N – Non-identification: Remember that feelings are part of your experience, not your entire identity. You are not your anxiety. What you feel now is real, but it is also temporary.
Pausing, not stopping, the anxiety cycle
It’s important to be realistic: this is not about eliminating anxiety altogether. There is no single technique that works for everyone, all the time. The aim is simpler — to create a little space.
A pause. A breath. A moment where the cycle slows enough for you to choose your next step, rather than being swept along by it.
For some people, mindfulness practices help. For others, it might be a walk, a grounding exercise, a conversation, or a quiet cup of tea in the garden. The “right” tool is the one that supports you, not the one that sounds most impressive.
Finding what works for you
If you’re curious about mindfulness or structured approaches like RAIN, there are many accessible ways to explore them — apps, short guided practices, books, videos, or local classes. You don’t need hours of free-time or perfect conditions.
Even a minute of intentional pause can be enough to step off the cycle just long enough to catch your breath.
Further reading and support
- Mind (UK mental health charity)
- NHS – Anxiety & Mindfulness
- Greater Good Science Center
- Mental Health Foundation (UK)
Member discussion